Tani is one of those mother’s who is a mother with a capital M. She’s a Mother. I won’t try to paint her as perfect. I can vividly see her laughing at me now if I did. But that’s just the thing. Laughing. She would just laugh.

That’s what I take away from time I spend with her. Laugh when it’s appropriate. And laugh when it’s not too. Since if nothing else, parenting young children is pretty darn funny.

In all it’s vast peaks and valleys, daily I am humbled by it’s uncanny ability to make me both whole and broken. As if my heart cracked the moment they were born, overwhelmed by the intensity of love it now carried.

Yes, this all sounds very dramatic.

Yet it’s true and I hear this sentiment shared in a variety of ways from other mothers. The wholeness comes in the form of hugs, love, joy, I love you’s, goodnight mommy’s, and evenings you realize the kids were great all day! The brokenness comes from bowls of cereal thrown to the floor, diaper blowouts on your way to church, long nights and early mornings, screaming children in line at Target, when they stop napping or better yet, when they learn to crawl out of the crib.

Mostly though brokenness comes from knowing that one day they’ll move on. And it’s then I realize the only thing I need to do is LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

Here are a few pages.

]]> http://www.hannahphoto.com/2012/06/and-then-a-sweet-girl-comes-along.html/feed 1 http://www.hannahphoto.com/2012/05/feeling-empty.html http://www.hannahphoto.com/2012/05/feeling-empty.html#comments Fri, 25 May 2012 18:04:14 +0000 admin http://www.hannahphoto.com/?p=638

I’m feeling empty today. An ache sits in my stomach. As if I just took my cake out of the oven and I’m holding my breath waiting to see if it’s center collapses.

What I’m creating isn’t good enough.

I’ve sat idle here for a little while.

Idle doing good things though so no regrets. I’ve napped with my children. Had “beautiful day” outings where we seek out beautiful things. Lots of slow long walks.

But my camera has been staring at me.

And that makes me feel a little empty.

Camera, you’ll come out to play soon. Today in fact. And let’s put some other dates on the calendar. Some play dates.

Just me and you kid.

We’ll invite Reese and Owen too because they love you as much as I do.

I want to run through a river with you dangling on my hip. Chase little feet through a wide open field. Knowing full well you’ll do it justice. We’ll capture every shiny moment.

Together, you and I.

I made myself a snow ball as perfect as could be.
I thought I’d keep it as a pet and let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas and a pillow for it’s head.
Then, last night it ran away.
But first — it wet the bed.